Hol Horse meets The Giant Whelk (2023)

Table of Contents
The Story Trivia:
Hol Horse meets The Giant Whelk (1)

Hol Horse meets The Giant Whelk is a story made by Cs. And is the first Jojo story he written ever.

The Story

Hol Horse was walking around India to kill some high schooler.

“What a beautiful day.” The cowboy said. “Now where’s those Joestars?”

Suddenly a giant portal came and started to suck everything inside it, consuming Hol Horse and everything around him. Hol Horse woke up in an alien jungle, tired and not wondering what had happened.

“What happened? Where is everybody? Where am I?” Hol Horse asked while questioning his life choices.

A roar blasted out of the alien jungle shocking Hol Horse.

“Who’s there?” Hol Horse asked, shocked again.

Hol Horse looked at the one who made the roar. There standing right in front of him with big black beady eyes with a shell on its head as well as having a large mouth and gray skin stood the evilest creature to ever exist. The Giant Whelk.

Now you may be wondering why whelks are bad. It's simple, they eat children, commit tax fraud and make babies cry among other things. The Giant Whelk roared at Hol Horse, its breath smelled like feet, death, and people who like Araki forgot memes.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!” Hol Horse yelled. “You need some Colgate or something!”

The Giant Whelk took offense to Hol Horse’s insult and got triggered like an SJW after Donald Trump became president.

The Giant Whelk ran towards Hol Horse with an ungodly speed that no man should experience or witness in their lifetime ever! It charged angrily.

“OH GOD, I’M OUT OF HERE!” Hol Horse said!

He hauled ass and ran the hell out into the jungle.

The Giant Whelk followed in pursuit, its jaws wide open as it crashed into trees around it, leveling them as a result.

Hol Horse tripped over a rock and fell on the grass and drew his stand out, The Emperor. The cowboy opened fire on the beast!

The bullets pierce The Giant Whelk’s skin to no eval, the creature was only even more pissed as it chased Hol Horse around the jungle. The jungle trees collapsed and brutally fell, shaking the planet, and killing innocent creatures around it. Hol Horse decided to hide under a log. The Whelk looked around confused as all hell. It jumped away into the jungle as Hol Horse escaped.

“Oh god! That was too close for comfort. I’m sweating, my god man!” Hol Horse cried out.

He was sweating in every place you could think of, his outfit was soaked in said sweat, anxiety eating him up like it was no tomorrow. Hol Horse held hellish hatred against that godforsaken whelk. He wanted to kill it.

Later he walked miles among miles for 12 hours straight, his legs were now powdered rocks.

But then he finally reached the alien plains. Where he would encounter more strange oddities.

Hol Horse saw living plums’ sea cucumbers, two types of sentient pears, and even salmon with legs. He saw fish living on land, primitive humans. And even had a close encounter with a tribe of sentient bears after cheating in a game of Monopoly. Now Hol Horse is running away from a bunch of angry lobsters. Then Hol Horse was crying in a cave eating Swedish Fish.

“WHY! HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN! Why was I sucked into a portal where I got chased by a WHELK!” Hol Horse said while having a mental breakdown while eating more Swedish fish because Swedish fish makes you a god!

Hol Horse’s mental state is decreasing like part 5 fans when their mary sue god Giorno Giovanna gets rightfully criticized. Hol Horse ran out of cigarettes and beer because the bear tribe stole them. Now he only had Swedish Fish.

A day later Hol Horse wandered into the alien plains again. He ran his butt off into the plains hungry for Swedish fish. He walked into a bunch of crabs. One of them was named Mr. Pinchy, He was kind and greeted Hol Horse with the hospitality of a Canadian. He told Hol Horse about The Crustacean Nation. A nation that unites all crustaceans. Hol Horse was flattered and impressed by Mr. Pinchy’s idea and decides to ally with the crab.

Hol Horse talked with Mr. Pinchy for hours among hours about this alien planet. Hol Horse then mentioned The Giant Whelk, Mr. Pinchy was angry about the giant whelk.

“That Whelk is our enemy!” Mr. Pinchy said. “The Giant Whelk is a threat to us crabs. It must be taken care of immediately!”

Hol Horse knotted as the air smelled like soap and Swedish fish. But it was fine.

“How are we going to stop this gigantic whelk? It’s so big, evil, and just….. Whelk!” Hol Horse asked.

“We have to go and make a tribe and then kill The Giant Whelk.” Said Mr. Pinchy “Do you have anything that could improve our civilization?” Said Mr. Pinchy, eager to kill that no brain stupid whelk.

“Well, there is,” said Hol Horse.

Hol Horse explained 20th-century technology to Mr. Pinchy and soon, The crabs made guns out of wood and flint while in the creature stage. Eventually, they were in the tribal stage.

Later. In tribal stage.

Hol Horse and Mr. Pinchy’s tribe dealt with raids from Bear’s and The Giant Whelk. They still somehow survived because of the guns they called “Flintguns.” They started befriending various tribes of pears with their favorite music. Royalty-free music. They eventually prepared for their most ambitious plan to date.

“We must take out The Giant Whelk. We have enough technology to take it out.” Said Mr. Pinchy. Waving his crab claws in the air.

“Are you sure? This Whelk is powerful and can easily break our tents!” Said Hol Horse concerned.

“How Mr. Pinchy? How?” He continued.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

They left the tent and there, standing in front of them in its grey and evil glory was The Giant Whelk.

Hol Horse's face was painted with anger for The Whelk and yelled at it angrily.

“KILL THAT GODDAMN THING!” Hol Horse angrily yelled out with wrath as he used his stand to open fire at the whelk. The Giant Whelk reacted angrily.

It charged with the anger of a neckbeard on Reddit and discord, breaking structures in its path.

And so, the first battle in crab history would begin. The battle of Whelk’s breach has begun. Hol Horse and Mr. Pinchy lead the crabs in a strategic position. As the melee troops swing and take on The Giant Whelk while the spear throwers and the flintgun troops open fire from the back. Mr. Pinchy helped out with healers so The Crustacean Nation's troops could last longer.

The Crabs hit The Giant Whelk hard. But The Giant Whelk opened its mouth and let out a mighty bite that one shotted a chunk of Mr. Pinchy’s troops.

“I knew this was going to fail!” Hol Horse said. “What are we going to do?”

“Chase it to one of the pear tribes and hope they can help us!” Mr. Pinchy replayed.

Hol Horse agreed.

And so, Hol Horse gave all of the crabs the last of his Swedish fish and it turned the tide for The Crustacean Nation. The Crabs were doing more damage, The Whelk started getting angrier and leveled buildings and trees around the battle but the crab's flintguns constantly penetrated its whelky skin.

The Giant Whelk ran away with the crabs in pursuit into a pear village. The Pears were hostile and started attacking the crabs!

Hol Horse and Mr. Pinchy were desperately shooting at the pears while their troops were dying in a vast, quick, and painful way. But then The Giant Whelk jumped with an unholy speed and killed all of the hostile pears. But before the whelk can celebrate. Hol Horse and Mr. Picnhy opened fire at the whelk for the final time. The Giant Whelk fell down for the final time.

Hol Horse looked at The Giant Whelk for the final time, his face was surprisedly neutral.

“Well, looks like the gun is mightier than the whelk” Hol Horse stated.

But before Mr. Pinchy could replay, a giant portal came and sucked Hol Horse and his items into India. Hol Horse landed violently into the Indian town with dust flying everywhere.

Years later Hol Horse was checking out the book store and saw something that shocked him! There standing in front of him was a book called Hol Horse meets The Giant Whelk.

The end.


  • Many people called this peak fiction.
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